Friday, January 30, 2009

Love it!

I have to tell you about the sweetest thing my son said to me yesterday....

He comes up to me... lays his hands on my tummy. I'm thinking.. awe he wants to try and feel the baby. And he says
" WOW mom... your HUGE"
well.. there went that nice thought. lol
He does however like to hear the baby on the headphones. My daughter isn't too impressed at the moment. Thinks it's all nasty.
She told me yesterday... she's not having kids.. she will adopt 3 kids.. but she's not stupid enough to have them. ;( She said they are all bloody and icky when they come out. Oh well. (she's still in that boy hating stage.. except when it comes to the Jonas Brothers)
My son then replies "You'll get used to it" By the way.. he's having 4 kids. :)

OH.. an update from the other day.....
I did wake my kids up the way I said I would... My daughter did smile and her eyes gleamed and she jumped up and gave me a hug <3 (she's 10 btw... I hope she never grows out of that love for me) and My son just shook his head up and down (yes) and said "Why are you so happy" Oh yeah.. he's turning into a man :lol I have to change that somehow .. hmmm.

P.S. This blogger needs smilies :)

P.S.S. My 5 month tummy

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

A happy post

30 minutes.. 30 minutes until I wake up my beautiful two and get them ready for school. I love this mom-hood thing. Have you ever just sat back and just breathed in the delights of your children. Cherished every thing they said.. even if it's them yelling at each other and calling names. <3 Weird, but I love it. Not saying I don't put a stop to the abusive behavior.. but it reminds me of the good days I had with my brother and sister. Sibling rivalry... it was a pain in my ass, literally... but a pain in my ass I would never take back.
I'm going to get my two up and tell them I love them.. that will be the first thing they hear this morning. It's usually.. "yo... ki, dev.. wake up.. it's time for school!" if they protest.. "ahhhh come on now.. you have lots of learning to do today.. let's get the show on the road" and I will then dance around all goofy. That usually works.
Today.. it will be "I love you" let's see how that happens. I bet Ki will smile and Dev will say it back <3

Let me talk about one more thing...... Friendship
I am one of.. if not the luckiest women alive. I have so many good friends.. so many positive friends who are there for me.. cheering me on constantly, loving me unconditionally. I have had the nicest, most wonderful thing happen to me yesterday. All thanks to my dear friends at HM. I love you all.. I can not thank you enough. I am at dept to you all.
Free massages??? You got it!!! I just have to find a way to each and every one of your homes *think* I'll get there.. I will!!!!

Love to you all *kisses*

Friday, January 16, 2009

Sleepless nights

And what do I do to pass the time away.. listen to poor celebrities whine and complain about how bad their skin is one day.. and a few weeks later they look 100 years younger. Please
I have a hard time believing that these "miracle" makeups and lotions really work. Why is it, that it's only available to the high class "I can afford plastic surgery and Shhh I really have and am undercover to get more money I don't need to do these face-o-mercials... aka= conmercials."
If these miracle face uplifters and wrinklesmoother-outers really work... why not get everyday people try them out? hmm?
Because you know the high class and celebrities can afford not to get wrinkles.. how you ask? Stress.. or lack there of. well, they all claim to spend time with their kids... be the "typical" mom and all that jazz... but who, may I ask, is the person next to you in all of the pics in the magazines.. your nanny you say? Real, every day mommies... don't have live in nannies or maids. Real mommies work for a living.. They are all to everything and everybody. And may I say.. they don't get squat for pay. A, "I love you mommy", is all that is wanted and needed... well, a hope for a kid to not mess up a perfectly made room that was done 5 minutes before, would be nice.. but still, mommies... real everyday mommies don't ask for much.

So, I refuse to watch any more celebrity endorsed conmercials. hmmm, that's going to hard to do on nights like this. Maybe I can wash laundry, pack my kids lunches, clean house.. that way, during the day, I can actually have time for me!? But, more than likely... I will still clean house, go grocery shopping, plan meals, plan play dates... a mommies work is never done.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Bring the Positive into your life

Do you know what happens when your favorite site is shut down due to "technical difficulties'?

withdrawal :0
yeah.. I think I tried going to my ever loving every 5 minutes.. to a no win situation.
OMC.. this is what they call a no win situation!?!?!? I've heard about them.. but for the first time in my life.. I experienced it!! Ohhh someone take me away from this torture.

Brings me to Positive thinking :)

I've had friends, in my Personal- aka "real" life, that just bitch and complain how things are in their life. I will admit.. I do it too.. BUT, the difference between me and them? Positive thinking .. yep. You bring in to your world, what you think or as some may say manifest. (As I believe) Sure it's easy to see the negative in every situation.. it's what we are taught from when we are young. We learn our comfort zones, our danger signs... Do we ever learn or are taught out safety zones and are we ever really taught to take risks? in reality, no.. we are not.
So our focus is solely on the negative.. all the time. But let's do something different, shall we? No matter what situation you are going through.. for every bad thing you think will happen in that situation... think of 2 positives.... focus on those positives for a minute, please. Close your eyes and envision the positive. Now... live for those positives.
yes.. their could be "let downs".. but don't let them get to you.. for they are only minute to the positive goal you are striving to.

I can tell you... once I started thinking this way.. and believe me.. it take a while to turn your thought patterns around... I'm not 100%.. and who's to say 100% can be achieved.. not I.. because I don't believe in 100%. anyway.. My life has been more fulfilling and richer.. I enjoy and love my life more.

But, I also have made more changes that the thinking... many more. But that was a first step for me. Try it out!!!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Accomplishment Orgasm

I have finally done something on my own... something no one pushed me or bullied me into doing... I have finished school. Yes, you are reading a blog of a CMT right now. This is like the biggest orgasm I have ever had! Today was my last day of clinic!!! I have successfully finished this with a 3.96 GPA.

I can't say I did this totally on my own. I had a few friends that stood by me along the way... well, a HUGE community of women. ( want the link... look to the left ;p )

I think I will even orgasm walking down that isle in March... I'll be a huge as a yacht, but I will still smile endlessly

Near the end of the month, I will be taking my LMT exam. I'm nervous as crap, but if I study for that as I have with all my schooling... I know I will pass.


Thursday, January 8, 2009

4 months with #3- a little about it speratically

This pregnancy is way different than my other two. Granted I was younger then, my body still "new", and not so in tune with this huge oven.

I know with this pregnancy, what morning sickness is. With my last 2, I was only nauseated ever so often throughout the day. My lawd, You mean morning sickness is actually getting sick and hurling your guts out at the mere thought of food!?!? And this could go on ALL DAY LONG??? Cooking- one of my favorite things to do.. is an enemy of mine? Oh no.. couldn't be! Ha, sure was. I'm just glad it lasted 3.5 months instead of the whole pregnancy, as I have heard from other women. I feel for them... I really do.

Weight gain: I swear, 2 days after I heard.. or found out I was preggo... I ballooned out. Ehh, I was big with my other two... but at least it took a teeny bit longer. This was like, kapowza!! 15 pounds gained automatically. I believe I am in trouble with this baby.. big... I think it will be. I should be used to it.. my 1st was 8lbs 6oz, and my 2nd was 9lbs 13oz. I am sooo getting the drugs.. I mean good drugs to have this baby lol.

Ahhh,... pic. let me not forget.
This is my 4 month pic, taken about a week ago?! hmm... the mind, not so good as it once was.

Why am I single, you ask?

Well, that's pretty simple. I have bad taste in men.

You would think by now, that I have learned to choose a well rounded individual.. well, I haven't.

Being young I only wanted to party. I had not one speck of responsibility. I worked.. and worked my butt off. At 16, I was committed to a handsome man. The dream of a man loving me and wanting me all to himself, had come true. I moved in with him right after high school. College you ask? well, I could take a year off. That year became 12. After notorious affairs he had, many trips to jail, many physical fights, and job loss after job loss (mine.. not his. Jobs were lost do to his jail terms), 2 children later... I had the perfect end to our hideous romance. He was going to prison!! In he went and Out his property went. Ahhh.. I could finally breath and grow.

Why did I stay as long as I did? Well, that in itself is a whole other story. Have you ever felt trapped? Have you ever felt like you couldn't go anywhere because you were afraid of new things, new life experiences? And to top that off.. No one could love me like he could. That was a laugh. That was not love at all. That was abuse! Something I should have known. (Will explain another time... hey, I want you to come back and read. lol)

Back to this single issue......
After my kids father went into prison, I started working on me. For the first time in my life... I had to do me. I had responsibilities.. my children depended on me. I was not to be a good mother if I didn't know who I was... other than a mother. I made many changes mentally and physically. I stopped smoking, Meditated more, Found my love of writing again, and to top that off... I was losing weight again!!!! I was happy. My children knew I was happy.. they hadn't really seen me like that before. My priorities had changed, gained positive friends and lost the negative, soul sucking friends. I had learned to open my heart again.

And So I did..
I met a man online. We would write each other, then the calls started.... Oh my, was he intelligent or what?! He had me at E=mc2. (not literally) We could talk about anything for hours! I wouldn't meet him unless I had a friend with me (I'm old school like that). When I did meet him... I was quite amazed by his character, physique, and attitude.. his mind. This was unlike any man I had been with. We had our ups and downs. We would see each other then not see each other. 15 months later... I get pregnant with my #3.

So here I am.. knocked up with a precious little one.. feeling movement and loving it. Ahhh.. is the man, you ask? Heck no!!! He's like all other men out there and blames the whole thing on the woman. It wasn't in my plan to have a baby 9 years after my last and especially since I will be starting my career soon.. very soon. But you know what? I'm dealing with it.... alone. ANd I will make it and succeed!

So there you have it. A small part of my intimate life.
More to come

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Hi There

My first post.. I have been devirginized <3

ok now, a little about my blogging.

I blog my own way and with my own words. Yes.. many words will be made up. I'm just special like that.

I will post my likes, dislikes, random rambles, poems.. and if I get really bored, stories!! WOOT!
I am pretty sure there will be more, but the mind is foggy as of this moment. Which is not uncommon for me.. I call it preggo brain. After the baby I will call it post preggo brain.